Niharika & Sachit

December 23, 2006

Aren’t they a lovely couple?

As Sheoraj tells the story (and he should know!), the events of the wedding took place over the space of about a month, from the first meeting of the bride’s extended family to discuss arrangements and duties in early to mid-December to the last reception for the last group of people in mid-January. We, however, participated only in the three days of the wedding itself and in one informal reception at Sheoraj’s house a few days afterwards.

This was a “destination wedding”. The bride’s family was mostly in New Delhi; the groom’s family was largely from Mumbai with origins in Goa. The wedding took place in the popular tourist city of Jaipur in Rajasthan. We decided to stay in the “wedding hotel” since this would be the site of all the prenuptial festivities. What we didn’t know when we made this decision was:

· The wedding hotel was a resort location way outside of town

· The bride’s family (our friends and contacts) were not going to be staying there

No matter! The groom and his family made us most welcome, and there was plenty to do, both wedding activities and touring—starting the moment we arrived.

December 21^st

Having departed Boston and New York on the evening of December 19th and connected through London Heathrow, we arrived at New Delhi airport at 1:25am on the morning of December 21st. We had over four hours to connect to a Jet Airways flight at 5:45 departing for Jaipur. Even though we arrived about half an hour late, there was still plenty of time—or so we thought! So naturally we were skeptical of the private drivers who offered to drive us to the Jet Airways terminal, when there was a free public shuttlebus. But the shuttlebus drove around the back byways of the airport, alongside runways, past strange gatherings of men huddled around bonfires behind buildings, on and on. And we arrived, finally, at the Jet Airways plane just as they were closing the door to take off, the last passengers on board.

At 6:30am, we were in Jaipur; by around 7:30, we had arrived at the hotel, our bodies not quite sure which day, much less which time zone, they were in.

See, we’re still awake! Happy to be greeted by the doorman and ready for our Indian buffet breakfast. Yum!

Sachit, the groom, greeted us when we arrived and made sure all was well and we had good rooms close together and near to where our friend Sheoraj would be staying when he arrived. Later, we met Sachit’s mother and father, Neela and Dinkar, our gracious hosts at the wedding hotel, who made us feel welcome and a part of the groom’s family while we stayed with them.

The hotel was all decorated for the wedding: Ganesha god of fortunate beginnings to new enterprises was festooned with marigolds for good luck. Wreaths of marigolds abounded.

We had time to settle in, explore the hotel, and enjoy a great Indian buffet lunch. The first formal event was a cocktail party that evening. While waiting for other guests to show up (we had not yet learned about Indian time), we were entertained by the hotel’s young Rajasthani folk dancer. Later, there was a huge Indian buffet dinner, more dancing—and fireworks.

December 22nd

The schedule for the next day was full of events. After another great Indian buffet breakfast, there was a tour of some of the ancient historical sites outside of Jaipur near the hotel. (The photos can be found here.) There were also camel rides for the stay-at-homes. Fortunately, the tour returned in time for us to enjoy the camel rides too. And a great buffet Indian lunch!

Haldi

In the afternoon were two traditional pre-wedding events. In the first of these, a turmeric (haldi) mixture is daubed upon the groom (and, separately in another part of the city, as we later found out, upon the bride). The daubing is performed on various parts of his body, perhaps indelibly marking the lovely traditional clothes he wore.

And whatever was done to the groom was done to his young cousin as well. We tended to think of this cousin as the “best man” but there was in fact more to it than that. A traditional Indian wedding is the joining of two families. Should anything have happened to the groom, in a traditional wedding the “best man” would have been committed to marrying the bride.

We began with entertainment on the steps of the hotel before proceeding to one of the hotel’s spacious lawns for the actual event.

The gentleman in the blue shirt behind the drummer is the priest who later officiated at the wedding.

Sachit with his mother Neela and another relative; haldi

I had a chance to participate. Helpful relatives showed me where to daub next. When everyone had had a turn, the groom and best man were most colorfully arrayed!

Mehendi

Lest anyone think that only the groom gets painted, the next event of the day was for all the women wedding participants. We had henna (mehendi) patterns painted on our hands and arms while everyone had an informal chance to chat and party (with the inevitable Indian buffet serving snacks).

Turbans were distributed to all the men, shawls to all the ladies.

The results were very artistic.

But not as artistic as the bride’s mehendi, which extended to her elbows and also on her feet.

That night, there was another big party with a magnificent Indian buffet dinner, braziers to keep warm by (those high-desert nights can be chilly in just a gown and shawl), and this time, Rajasthani folk dancing. And, of course, fireworks.

Folk dancing with water and with fire

December 23^rd

In the morning, our family took a private tour of the Old City of Jaipur. Photos can be seen here. As a result of this tour, we utterly missed the elephant rides at the hotel, but we did make it back in time for the excellent Indian buffet lunch.

Baraat

Mid-afternoon, the groom’s family (including us) assembled for a bus ride to the palace where the actual wedding was to take place. But first we were entertained by a brass band. At the other end of the bus ride, the band started up again as the groom and his best man boarded a wonderfully decorated elephant to ride ceremoniously, amid clapping and dancing by the family, to make a loudly celebratory entrance at the courtyard of the palace.

All aboard!

We were given turbans, boutonnières, and wreathes of flowers.

The ceremony at Raj Palace

We were offered a refreshing drink, and the two families mingled and chatted freely. In fact, during the entire ceremony, people mingled and chatted freely. There was no requirement, as in a Western church service, that anyone actually pay attention to what was going on up on the platform. People seemed to come and go.

The wedding took place in the courtyard of an historic palace, now a luxury hotel.

The groom and best man were formally welcomed by the bride’s uncle, Cdr. Sharma.

Amid the radiance of all the women’s dresses, the bride was stunningly beautiful.

Soon we discovered that, having made our entrance with the groom’s family, we had groom’s-side turbans. But we were bride’s-family friends, and their turbans were entirely different! But we’d been staying and celebrating with the groom all this time! We felt we belonged on both sides. What to do, what to do? Problem resolved: Adam loyally kept his groom’s-side turban, but Dan exchanged his for a bride’s-side turban.

Here we are with our friend Sheoraj, the bride’s grandfather. The wedding is actually taking place on the platform as we mingled and chatted. You can see the two priests behind us between Adam and me. Now, in case you’re wondering what was actually happening up on that platform…

People came and went up on the platform, too, at different times. Above, left, you can see a priest, the groom, the bride’s mother, another priest, (someone), and the bride’s uncle. Above, right, it appears that this part of the ceremony involves only the women. That’s the groom enjoying a small respite in the foreground.

December 26^th

We were originally invited to a formal reception for the bride and groom at the Naval Officers Mess in New Delhi. But, it being a military facility, and we being foreign nationals, permission for our attendance was not forthcoming from the Indian government. It could have been appealed, of course, but that would have taken months. There was nothing to be done. We attended an informal gathering at Sheoraj’s house before the reception, but not the formal event.

Cutting the cake

Niharika and Sachit feed cake to each other; Sachit helps his mother-in-law Santosh enjoy a bite

The house and stairway were beautifully decorated.

December 28^th

It wasn’t part of the wedding celebration, but we were able to get together one last time with our friend Sheoraj. He invited us to his house, and from there we went to see a classical Indian dance performance and had dinner with him at his club.